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Post by sarahd on Aug 31, 2004 22:08:33 GMT -5
I was just wondering how everyone organizes their day. It seems like I can never find a clean counter in the kitchen or find the end of the dirty dish trail. My house is always in caos and I can't stand it. How do you do it with 10 in your house Darlene? I only have 5 and it seems I can never get caught up. I was reading the hospitality thread and I am scared everyday that someone will show up at my door and have to come inside and see the mess. Helpppp!!
sarah
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Post by hszoo on Aug 31, 2004 22:54:25 GMT -5
I was just wondering how everyone organizes their day. It seems like I can never find a clean counter in the kitchen or find the end of the dirty dish trail. My house is always in caos and I can't stand it. How do you do it with 10 in your house Darlene? I only have 5 and it seems I can never get caught up. I was reading the hospitality thread and I am scared everyday that someone will show up at my door and have to come inside and see the mess. Helpppp!! sarah I just have a few minutes but thought I'd jump in here for a bit. Oh! Welcome to the forum! I don't know how old your children are, but even as young as 2 a child can be taught to help out around the house. It's important to include the children in daily chores. Remember, they won't always be children and our goal as a mother is to work ourselves OUT of a job! That means training children in the ordinary, everyday tasks of life. Next, remember also that we live in our homes, they aren't just showcases. A little mess here and there is to be expected if you have cooking or projects going. Primarily, though, the best thing to get into the habit of is to Never, Never put something down where it doesn't belong. For instance, you've just made a sandwich. Put the bread and filling away where it goes, wipe the counter or table where you made the sandwich, and wash up any utensils you used immediately. Teach your children to do this, as well. It takes time to teach this habit, and you must be diligent both in the teaching and in applying the concept to yourself. Next, make sure you have a place for everything, even if it's just open shelving in the room. Also, get rid things. Assess how many clothes each person really needs, including socks and underwear, and begin culling out the overages. Bless someone else with what you're getting rid of. God didn't supply our needs so we can be a reservoir. He supplied our needs so we can be a river and pass the blessings along! Start at one corner of the room (probably the kitchen since that's the room that, if it's not clean, it drags the rest of the house down with it) and start cleaning. As you go, work your way around the perimeter of the room, tossing things in the trash, putting things that don't belong there in a basket or bag so it can be taken to its proper location later, and wiping down surfaces. When the perimeter of the room is satisfactory, then deal with the trash and the items that need putting away. Lastly, deal with the middle of the room and get it clean including cleaning the floor. Get rid of dust catchers. If you barely have time to prepare meals, wash dishes, and do laundry (and homeschool!), then you need to reduce other work such as dusting a farm of animal statues or shelves of unread books. At the very least, box those things up and stow them under a bed or throw a tablecloth over them and call it an end table...LOL. Throw away old magazines. Believe me, nearly anything that's in them can easily be found online when you want it. And who wants to leaf through reams of dusty old mazazines for that "perfect recipe" or "really neat craft". It's a real waste of time. Remember, we are told in the world to redeem the time for the days are evil, and to do all things decently and in order. These are principles we can apply to our daily living. Run, don't walk, to the nearest dollar store and get a dish wand. It's one of those things where you fill the handle with detergent and it has a sponge on it. Everytime you or someone else dirties even one dish, glass, or utensil, wash it right away with the dish wand. Show your family how to do this, too, and *strongly encourage* them to wash up their own things. That keeps dirty dishes from piling up during the day or even at night after supper. When you're cooking, run a sinkful of hot soapy dishwater and wash pots, pans, bowls, etc. as you go. Wipe up spills right away before they can dry onto your counter or table or floor.
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Post by sarahd on Sept 1, 2004 10:30:17 GMT -5
That sounds good Ann. One of my big problems is that my children are a bit lazy. They whine and complain and usually it ends up a big battle. I usually try to stick it out though and make them do it, it is just hard. I definitely need to go thru and get rid of some clothes and unndeeded things.
sarah
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Post by benshelpmeet on Sept 1, 2004 17:04:40 GMT -5
Ann, Your a blessing to me and all who read these post who need help. I like the way you say things it makes so much sence. You have alot of helpful practicle advice. Thank you!
I bought a dish wand and I love it. No more having to prepare two sinks and all just to wash dishes.
Sarah, We need to teach ( make ) our children learn how to clean up and be helpful it teaches character, team work ( we don't do sports ), but we are a team it's not all up to mom. Some children are complainers by nature. ( don't listen to a word of it ) I have one daughter that is a complainer by nature we work hard with her to build good character in this area. If she complains the job just become harder. ( we make it harder, she quits complaining does the job, the job gets finnished, she quits feeling negative, we talk to her about her attitude, she thinks twice about complaining next time.) It didn't start out that easy though,some might think thats not easy, but we have made alot of progress with her. All children are differant and respond differantly so just ask God how to deal with your children.
I take a piece of paper go into a room make a chore list of things that need to be done. This works well! I give these lists to my older children ( you could scale them down for younger children) You could do all the big stuff. I assign my older children to a room of the house they rotate every two weeks. They still have to help in other areas as well. Right now my son has the kitchen, he has to make sure the dishes are washed,put away, help with preparing meals, help thaw meat, dice, chop, sometimes he makes the meal all by himself and he's a great cook. he sweeps, mops, keeps stove clean, counter clean, etc. Does this always get done? No! But he does a good job most of the time! Another area is Back Porch/ Laundry Room/ Bathroom ( it's enclosed apart of our house, we just call it the back pourch because 50 yrs ago thats what it was), My grumpy daughter is assigned to that right now and is doing a great job! No complaints it's her forte'(sp) She has to keep it sweept/moped, picked up, make sure my toddlers potty chair is dumped, wash clothes, (I help I love washing clothes I can't help myself),hang clothes out,or dryer which ever is needed(in case it rains), fold/put away clean clothes, Keep shower and sink, camode clean, etc. My other daughter makes beds, cleans/vaccumes girls bedroom, living room,cleans the front porch wich is also closed in and apart of our farm house. It's a pretty big job because she has to make sure toys are picked up on a regular basis we teach our toddlers and young children to pick up toys, help fold clothes, help us all do small tasks. They like to help and can't wait until they can have a big persons job. They really are good little helpers.
It's important to teach how to do a job and do it well as unto the Lord as I always say ''deciently and in order.'' Thats a job that honors God. If you teach them now they'll be a blessing latter. Your children are still young, but not too young to learn, it's a good time to teach them.
I let the children take turns feeding the animials. They really enjoy this job.
I've got to go start super so I'll close for now I hope this has been helpful. All homes and families are differant. You have to just find what works best for you. And PRAY for Gods help and guidance He will help the puzzle pieces fit.
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Post by sherri on Sept 2, 2004 15:43:55 GMT -5
Sarah, I have been sooo blessed by one woman who has set out to help others who have a hard time keeping things neat and organized (and CLEAN) while working only 15 minutes at a time. Go to www.flylady.netShe'll send u reminders in your email all day. they take time to get used to, may seem a bit burdensome at first cuz there are so many, but when u start to read them you wont have to read all of them any more cuz u know what you are suposed to do RIGHT NOW. That's her motto. Set a time for 15 minutes, and clean your kitchen. Under no circumstances are to to go beyond 15 minutes. She will give you different jobs to do, like go sweep off your front porch to let others know they are welcome at your house and that u care about your house. Or one of my faves is the 27 fling boogie. Get a bag run around a room and throw away 27 things in 2 minutes. Tie the bag shut and don't open it, throw it away outside in the trash that you're less likely to retrieve from. And the 27 fling give away, 27 things to give away, put them in your trunk. 27 fling purse, diaperbag, back pack boogie... u get the idea. Do a 27 fling boogie EVERY DAY! And slowly your house will start to come under control again and not under so much clutter. Ladies, i strongly urge all of your to check out this group, it's so empowering to know that i can have company stop by my house ANYTIME and stuff is already taken care of for them. Hope this helps!! Sherri
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Post by benshelpmeet on Sept 2, 2004 21:26:54 GMT -5
That's great! The 27 fling boogie. Great idea especially the diper bag one I have a diaper bag that every one put's stuff in that thing get's to be quite unruley. The little ones even put rocks they find in it.
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Post by sherri on Sept 2, 2004 22:17:32 GMT -5
I love Flylady, she has totally helped me transformed my home. She sends me reminders to take care of things that i often just get to busy doing other stuff to really remember. She asks me where is your laundry? Is it in the washer getting smelly? In the dryer getting wrinkled? Go 'reboot' your laundry!! (sort, wash, dry, fold, put away) What's for lunch/dinner? Have u taken the trash out today? How do your floors look? Whens the last time you've checked your smoke alarms? Check out your window sills, are they dusty and growing things in the cracks? Go bleach them, you have 15 minutes, GO! ( I love FlyLady, she's so motivating!!) Go do a 2 min room rescue NOW! That's when u spend 2 minutes quickly wiping down the bathroom counter, or putting the pillows that your munchins pulled off the caouch back on, or making your bed. Something very fast that makes all the difference in how the room looks. Then there's HOT SPOT prevention, That's when u get everyone in the house that's present to go to a hot spot (like a kitchen table where everyone just dump their stuff) and everyone has 2 minutes to get it off the table and put away. Neat huh? It's only two mintutes per person, and everyone has to get involved. I like that!
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Post by sarahd on Sept 2, 2004 22:52:37 GMT -5
Can anyone give me any ideas on how to motivate my children? For example: My 3 year old took Cheetos to his room and now they are all over the floor ( he is sneaky). I have been after the 3 yr old and the 6 yr old to pick up toys and clothes so I can vacuum. Or maybe let the 3 yr old vacuum, but he thinks it is fun! I made them stay in their room most of the day, I told them they had to get it clean. Spankings don't inspire them. Taking toys away doesn't inspire them. What should I do?? My 9 year old doesn't like to help much either. Usually it takes a battle to get anything accomplished.
sarah
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Post by sarahd on Sept 2, 2004 22:52:37 GMT -5
Can anyone give me any ideas on how to motivate my children? For example: My 3 year old took Cheetos to his room and now they are all over the floor ( he is sneaky). I have been after the 3 yr old and the 6 yr old to pick up toys and clothes so I can vacuum. Or maybe let the 3 yr old vacuum, but he thinks it is fun! I made them stay in their room most of the day, I told them they had to get it clean. Spankings don't inspire them. Taking toys away doesn't inspire them. What should I do?? My 9 year old doesn't like to help much either. Usually it takes a battle to get anything accomplished.
sarah
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Post by sherri on Sept 2, 2004 23:12:15 GMT -5
I have a 3 y/o. I know the joys of having a 3 y/o lol! I have only a little experience with it, as i've only ever had one 3 y/o, but Darlene has had like 7 of them! LOL Gotta love Sister Darlene! She has been through it all, 8 times over, Praise the LORD! Spankings didn't work with my dd either, until i started making them count. By that, i had to spank so hard i had tears in my eyes, crying out to God that this would be effective. I use a wooden spoon on her bottom, with panties down. If it is a repeat offence, i have to spank a lot hard and for longer than my mommy heart would like. Like 30+ times coming down hard on her bottom. I spank until i have broken her will. I'll tell you it is THE HARDEST thing i EVER have to do to her. I have to recite verses like "The Blueness of a wound cleanseth away evil."Pro 20:30 and "Chasten while there is hope, let not thy soul spare for his crying."Prov 19:18 "Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die. Thou shalt beat him with the rod and deliver his soul fom hell."Prov 23:13-14 "Foolishness is bound the heart of a child, but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him." Prov 22:15 When i spank with that kind of authority, i NEVER have to spank for that issue again. I also do it in love. I sit my dd on my lap, and i ask her what she did wrong, and she answers. I explain why what she did is not allowed, and offer scripture to back me up if there is any that directly applies, other wise i say the usual Ephesians 6:1 "Children, obey your parents in the LORD for this is right." Then i pray for my dd, and then she prays and asks Jesus to forgive her. Then i give the spanking. Then i hold her until the tears stop. I just gve her a BIG whoopin' theres no way i could ask her to be quiet and stop crying now, she's hurtin!! So we pray again that Jesus would help remind dd to always obey mommy. And that she would give her heart to mommy so mommy can teach her. I give lots of hugs and kisses, i MUST restore that relationship with my dd. Then when she's calm and smiling again, i set her down and continue on with my day. Hope this helps... Just remember, those Proverbs verses are more than just verses, they're PROMISES! Hold fast to the promises of God, and you WILL see results!
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Post by sarahd on Sept 3, 2004 9:31:40 GMT -5
Hi Sherri
That sounds like good advice. It would work for my 3 yr old I think. But my 6 and 9 yrs old are very big for their age. They won't bend over becase they know it will hurt. The other day I felt so bad because I was going to swat the 6 yr old with my wooden spoon and he moved and it ended up on his side. I want to get control of these children before it is too late. I will try it and pray that it works.
Sarah
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Post by sarahd on Sept 3, 2004 9:32:47 GMT -5
Darlene,
Can you give me some ideas on how you would make the job harder on the little ones? I am at a loss as what to do.
Sarah
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Post by hszoo on Sept 3, 2004 11:21:38 GMT -5
Ok. It seems the problem is uncooperative children. I've dealt with that with my own children when they were younger. I am the original "mean mommy"...LOL
When my kids wouldn't clean up their toys, I bagged them up in black garbage bags and hauled them off. Period. If the toys didn't mean enough to them that they took care of them, they certainly meant nothing to me. One time doing that was enough to put the "fear of the Mom" into them.
You see, I don't really give a rip how much we paid for something or if it was a gift from Aunt Ethel. If the thing doesn't have a proper place to be stored, and if the child cares so little for it that he or she won't put it away when finished with it, then out it goes. No ifs, ands, or buts. No possession is that precious. Only the Lord God has real value to me. Things of this earth will rot and rust away.
This isn't to make light of the things in our homes, but to help us all, including the children, understand that we must take good care of what we have and not accumulate more unless it's really needful and we have a place for it.
I spanked for open rebellion and for actions that posed a real danger. For other things, such as not cleaning their rooms, I "helped" them along by reducing the amount they had to deal with. Yes, it was amongst much wailing and gnashing of teeth by the children, but they quickly learned I meant what I said. Believe me, I do the same thing with my own possessions, ruthlessly tossing out anything that contributes to chaos in my home. Those things simply aren't worth keeping when they offer such bad returns.
When I go through the house, purging as I go, I assess things in particular ways. How often do I use/wear this? Have I needed it in the past year? Is it getting too worn to be really useful? Do I have a proper place to store it when not in use? I can clean my closet and often rid myself of half the clothes in there and still have plenty to wear. Then, I can bless someone else with what I've removed. I take out not just the most worn out, but also nicer things that I simply haven't worn regularly. Some really pretty things, but I am not using them.
I work in the rest of the house with the same philosphy. Not just getting rid of things because they are worn out or broken, but getting rid of things I really don't use or need, or I don't have a good place to store them out of the way.
I also have always taught and expected my children to do the same, and now that my youngest are teens, they do this without giving it a second thought. Remember that child training doesn't happen overnight! As with any learning process, it takes time, patience, diligence, and lots of practice. If a child's room is a mess I can guarantee it didn't all get there overnight. It took time to bring all that stuff into the home and into their room. It won't be cleared out overnight either.
The years of raising children, there is no time to sit back and hope for the best, especially after only one or two brief "lessons" in cleaning their room or helping with chores. It's a daily grind for a long time, but it's also our calling and duty before the Lord.
If the child is overwhelmed by too big a mess, and there really are serviceable things that would have a place to be stored, then instead of just generally saying "clean your room", try saying "pick up all the crayons and put them in the box." When that's done, then say "pick up the story books and coloring books and put them on the shelf." Then, pick up the dolls/toy cars and put them where they belong. Let the child focus on one thing at a time. (This works for my kids and it works for me!) Keep in mind, you will need to peek in on the child to make sure he or she hasn't become distracted by something they are trying to clean up. (I know how often I've been cleaning and been distracted by a magazine article. It's so easy to sit and peruse a magazine in the midst of cleaning, so I just assume kids are the same way.) Speak a word to them to lay that one thing aside until the rest is done, and then go back to it when they're finished.
When they are done, don't go in expecting the room will look like professional maid service has been their. Go in knowing you will probably see imperfections in their cleaning. Focus at that moment only on what they have accomplished and tell them that you appreciate what a good job was done. Later, you can gently comment on what was left undone and encourage them to do that. Say things in the form of a suggestion, "what if you also took those little crayon wrappers and put them in the trash since they can't go back on the crayons anyway?" Or, "oh, look what I found! Where did you put the rest of your Legos and you can put these in with them."
Often, children don't clean their room or do a chore because they really don't know how or what to do. It's up to us to teach them these things and share methods to make their work more effective and quick. When I deep clean a room, I put everthing that's not heavy or nailed down into a pile in the center of the room. I pull out what furniture I can and clean behind and under it, then push it back to the wall. All that gets swept into the middle pile, too. I clean every surface and even toss trash into that same middle pile. When I've gone completely around the room, then I turn and face down that pile! I go through it quickly just keeping whatever is truly usable and ignoring the rest. Those things are wiped down and put where they belong, the rest is tossed into a garbage bag. Then I can sweep or vacuum and the room is pretty clean. Another day, I'll go through drawers, one at a time, sorting and tossing as I go and maybe reorganizing if it's needed.
This method usually means only one room gets a deep cleaning in a day's time, but once it's done you won't have to do that again for maybe a year, if ever, as long as you keep up the daily tidying. Help your children do this in their own room.
I will also say that my children had no "fun" until they got their work done, however this means not overwhelming them with too much in one day. Set attainable daily goals for them and never use any general terms. Be specific. Show them what you expect so they'll fully understand it. Encourage them to continue until that one thing is accomplished. Show them by your example how you do this in the rooms you have charge over, such as the kitchen, the bathroom, or your own bedroom.
A note about snacks: We never allowed any food or drink in any room but the kitchen. Yes, children will often try to sneak what they can. My responsibility was to keep those temptations out of their reach and to keep a sharp eye on what my kids were doing. Sometimes they'd slip by with something, but not often because I was aware of what went on around me. I didn't consider sneaking a snack open rebellion, but a symptom of their sinful nature since Adam's blood was racing through their veins. Children are born sinners, IMO, and I don't mean that in an ugly way. I just know I never had to teach my children to be selfish, to say "no" to me, or to lose their tempers. That stuff all came naturally. I had to teach them self-control, obedience, and to have a servant's heart, which is unnatural to the natural man. I treated them with love and with pity before they were saved because I knew their Adamic nature is what controlled much of what they did. Conversely, I also didn't let that be an excuse for them. Discipline even for a lost person is important.
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Post by glenda on Sept 3, 2004 12:07:34 GMT -5
I have done the same things you are talking about. i will never forget one time my two sons now ages 12 and 10 had there toys all over there room. i had asked them to pick up well they just was not going to do it. well i went in there and picked up every toy placed them in bags and when there father got home we took them to the local thrift store. To top it off this was a couple months after christmas. I had given them ample time to pick these items up. Not only did they loose there toys but they also got a spanking for disobey. People could not belive I had done that. but do you know i do not have a problem with them picking there toys up now. It has been at least three years and as soon as i ask them to pick up they go right to it. They know that mom means business. Oh yea i was told that I was the mean mommy!!! ha ha ha One more thought. We don't allow that much toys to get into our home. Our girls really only play with there horses so that is all they need. As far as the boys they play with lego's and a few other toys. We do however have board games for the whole family to play with. if i could give you any advice limit the number of toys they have. It will be better for you and better for them.
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Post by hszoo on Sept 3, 2004 14:11:49 GMT -5
Sarah, I have been sooo blessed by one woman who has set out to help others who have a hard time keeping things neat and organized (and CLEAN) while working only 15 minutes at a time. Go to http://www.flylady.net<snip> Sherri Ok. I'm the odd man (actually woman) out on this one. I tried FlyLady and just plain didn't like the emails or much of the site. Maybe it's just to militant or something, I don't really know, but it nearly always rubbed me the wrong way so I dropped it. I have found a Christian list on Yahoo that I do feel better belonging to, though. It's called CalmMoms. Nothing's hard and fast on the group. It's Christian women praying and encouraging, offerring tips and ideas and whatever methods work for them. It's not a doctrinal discussion group, but there are many prayer warriors there. They come from a wide variety of denominations. All posts are moderated to prevent flaming of any kind or posts that are to completely off topic they tend to disrupt the flow of the group. You can go to groups.yahoo.com/group/CalmMoms/ and check it out, read the charter, etc. It may or may not suit you...I just know it suits me.
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