Post by dianatyree on Jan 16, 2009 15:07:12 GMT -5
It was -18 with a windchill of -35 when we woke up this morning. I thought this would be a good day to write a testimony of my own journey, and the struggles I've had, that might be an encouragement to someone else, as your testimonies have been to me. I always thought in my mind that someday when I had everything figured out and had "arrived" that I would write out this grand testimony of the "perfect christian life". Well thats never happened, and the happily ever after idea must have come from watching too much tv growing up. I know now that I'll never "arrive" until I'm with the Lord, but I'm determined with all my heart to try and please him in every way He reveals His truth to me. I can see Gods sovereign hand in my life as far back as I can remember. Even as a child I had an almost unbelievable awareness of Him. I loved to go to church, even when my parents dropped us off for years. I loved watching the Billy Graham crusades on tv and my mom would let me stay up as a young child to watch them. I know there's controversy on children coming to christ, but I believe I knew exactly what I was doing at 8 yrs. old when I went forward during a revival at our Bapist Church. I knew I was a sinner and needed to be saved. I didn't have much in the way of good teaching, and my home wasn't very stable, but for what I knew, my heart has always been sincere. My parents divorced and my family broke up when I was about 15, and many problems came as a result from that.God has been so faithful to help me and show me the sins of my heart. I'm so thankful for His longsuffering with me as I have not always been a "quick learner". Slowly through the years God began to deal with my heart and I began to learn about things I'd never heard of or considered before. I also began to question many things I had been taught. Probably one of the biggest infuences in my life was the Remnant magazine, and reading articles on the internet. I had no living examples near me, and no encouragement when I would ask others about the things I was reading. It took me longer than most I think to make changes. I really admire people whos lives literally change overnight, mine has been a long process. To give an example concerning clothing, when I was first learning about modesty I began by wearing longer shorts 
, then only capris, then only long pants, then dresses some of the time, then dresses most of the time. Now I wear dresses, and when I look back, what I did seems almost laughable but I was trying. Makeup was a huge issue for me, I LOVED MAKEUP!, I used to sell MaryKay, I wouldn't have gone anywhere without makeup on. As the Lord began to dealing with my heart on these issues, I used to say I feel like I'm half Amish and half MaryKay because of the struggles going on inside. Many times I would go back and forth on issues thinking maybe I was putting unnecessary burdens on myself since nobody agreed with me that I knew, and nobody would even consider that these things were even worth thinking about. My hair has been a battle all my life. I never got my adult hair in , I still have baby fine thin hair that is difficult to do anything with 
, so most of my life my hair has been cut short, permed, highlighted, colored , curled etc. Finally I just decided to let it grow out and just be what it is I just pull it back with simple combs now and hope the Lord will allow it to grow long. Of all the difficult changes the Lord has brought me through, none can compare to the utter horror, and sheer terror I felt inside when I thought that it might actually be a possibility that the headcovering was for today and if that were so I would have to obey that. I thought I would just die if I had to do that. Like I said before I'm so thankful the Lord is longsuffering and saw that I really wanted to obey, I just didn't know how I could do that. I began with a hat, and since then have used scarves. I cover for church and related activities and sometimes at home. I have covered all the time for a while, but my husband was not pleased with that. Most of the counsel I've seen on your site and from other likeminded sites is to honor your husbands wishes in this area, although Myron Horst in his article on headcovering says we should always obey God on this. I struggle with this as I want to obey God and my husband. I'm so thankful that at least I'm gladly willing to obey now, and His commands are truly not grievous to me. So one by one the Lord has brought most of the things you discuss here on the site for me to consider. Some things the Lord has allowed and others He has not given us one mind on yet, but I trust Him to bring His heart to our family. When I was first visiting your site, the thing that got my attention immediately was the articles Bro. George posted on anxiety and depression, as I have struggled on and off since I was a young child with severe anxiety. I have had two major bouts with it as an adult and the one I'm in now has been going on for years. I e-mailed Bro. George to see if he could help me, as I feel I've done and am doing everything suggested in his articles and yet it stays the same. I want the Lords heart in every area of my life, and if there's something I'm not seeing maybe someone else can see it. So I'd just like to encourage everyone no matter what your going through, or have been through, God is faithful, so very faithful to help us. Hold onto Him as the treasure that He is and He will see you through. For His Glory, Diana
, then only capris, then only long pants, then dresses some of the time, then dresses most of the time. Now I wear dresses, and when I look back, what I did seems almost laughable but I was trying. Makeup was a huge issue for me, I LOVED MAKEUP!, I used to sell MaryKay, I wouldn't have gone anywhere without makeup on. As the Lord began to dealing with my heart on these issues, I used to say I feel like I'm half Amish and half MaryKay because of the struggles going on inside. Many times I would go back and forth on issues thinking maybe I was putting unnecessary burdens on myself since nobody agreed with me that I knew, and nobody would even consider that these things were even worth thinking about. My hair has been a battle all my life. I never got my adult hair in , I still have baby fine thin hair that is difficult to do anything with 
, so most of my life my hair has been cut short, permed, highlighted, colored , curled etc. Finally I just decided to let it grow out and just be what it is I just pull it back with simple combs now and hope the Lord will allow it to grow long. Of all the difficult changes the Lord has brought me through, none can compare to the utter horror, and sheer terror I felt inside when I thought that it might actually be a possibility that the headcovering was for today and if that were so I would have to obey that. I thought I would just die if I had to do that. Like I said before I'm so thankful the Lord is longsuffering and saw that I really wanted to obey, I just didn't know how I could do that. I began with a hat, and since then have used scarves. I cover for church and related activities and sometimes at home. I have covered all the time for a while, but my husband was not pleased with that. Most of the counsel I've seen on your site and from other likeminded sites is to honor your husbands wishes in this area, although Myron Horst in his article on headcovering says we should always obey God on this. I struggle with this as I want to obey God and my husband. I'm so thankful that at least I'm gladly willing to obey now, and His commands are truly not grievous to me. So one by one the Lord has brought most of the things you discuss here on the site for me to consider. Some things the Lord has allowed and others He has not given us one mind on yet, but I trust Him to bring His heart to our family. When I was first visiting your site, the thing that got my attention immediately was the articles Bro. George posted on anxiety and depression, as I have struggled on and off since I was a young child with severe anxiety. I have had two major bouts with it as an adult and the one I'm in now has been going on for years. I e-mailed Bro. George to see if he could help me, as I feel I've done and am doing everything suggested in his articles and yet it stays the same. I want the Lords heart in every area of my life, and if there's something I'm not seeing maybe someone else can see it. So I'd just like to encourage everyone no matter what your going through, or have been through, God is faithful, so very faithful to help us. Hold onto Him as the treasure that He is and He will see you through. For His Glory, Diana
But when we determine to submit to the Lord, He draws us closer one step at a time, by His grace.