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Post by Deleted on Nov 26, 2010 13:23:51 GMT -5
I have been enjoying these posts! My husband and I feel the Lord working in the area of selfishness, knowinig that we too are selfish and need to repent and ask for help in the areas we are selfish, in order to teach selflessness to our children! I was wondering what you all do to teach SELFLESSness in your children, or even yourselves! Here are the ideas we have come up with over the past few years, and we are hoping for some encouragment and ideas from you all as well! 1. Youngest first, in everything, always. It take fighting about who goes first away and also teaches selflessness, others first and caring for little ones (ones littler then you!) Oh I must add Daddy first too, like when serving dinner, he alwasy gets biggest and best and first!!!! We're big fans of daddy around here!
2. Orphan jar, we have a jar that the children can put some of their money that they earn into, and we give it to a young lady we know of who goes to Haiti to work in orphanages.
3. Cooking for a family in need, all of the children help with the cooking, and also don't get the attention of mama for a whiole day, they have to give that up in order to serve a family in need.
4. Caring for a guest, letting them chose first toys and best toys, cleaning up after they leave, not asking them to help, our allowing them to pout about the big pick up in their room!
What do you guys do? We need some more ideas for sure! Things to do duirng a training time, or just as family rules maybe? Liz
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Post by Brother Ben on Nov 29, 2010 8:57:20 GMT -5
Those were very good, Sister Liz. I am "the daddy," so I am the unworthy recipient of alot of selfless acts of love from my wife and children. Having a large family, I see alot of acts of selflessness. Sometimes it is done readily and sometimes, (just being honest,) there is a sense of frustration, but I am glad to say that we seem to get the job done. The older ones realize that there are things that just HAVE TO BE DONE. In this, they see the necessity of selflessness. It would be nice to perhaps read a letter from a friend, write a pen-pal, read a book, etc., but there are things that have to be done. It is my prayer that the younger ones will see the acts of Mama, and the big girls, and follow suit.
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art
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Post by art on Nov 30, 2010 23:53:17 GMT -5
Thank you Sister Liz for the great post! We also use some of the same methods. Our jar on the counter is Bibles for China but same principle of course. We also stress selflessness in hospitality to guests as you mentioned. We had not thought of a youngest first policy. I love that idea! One other policy I have is that if you can't make it fun for everyone that's playing then Daddy ends the game. For example, tonight our 2 youngest boys were playing with toys on the floor and began arguing over a toy. I told them "you can give me the toys and the game is over or you can figure out how to make it fun for each other and keep playing". The disagreement was over without another word and they resumed playing happily together. Thanks again for starting this thread. I'll be checking back for more ideas.
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Post by Brother John on Dec 1, 2010 16:22:39 GMT -5
We do something a little different for birthdays. We don't make a big deal about them or have a big party or anything.
For most children, birthdays, like Christmas, are a time when receiving gifts is something taken for granted and expected. Covetousness is in high gear and encouraged. The focus of the day is usually self and the celebration of self. Although we use the day to show our appreciation for one another, we approach it from a different perspective....one of thankfulness toward the Lord for putting us here in order to know and love him and to serve others.
It is a day for us of remembrance as to who gave us life and why. It is also a wonderful opportunity to go against the spirit of the world and use the day to teach selflessness rather than selfishness and a giving instead of a "give me" mindset.
The way we do this is by encouraging giving on one's birthday, rather than receiving. So, on whoever's birthday it is, that person will give of himself in serving and doing something for others. Instead of getting a gift, they might buy or make gifts for their brothers and sisters. The money that would have been spent on a gift or party might be given to a family in need or some evangelistic purpose. The person with the birthday might make breakfast for the family or do everyone's chores for that day. Things of this nature. Anything that requires crucifying self, putting others first, serving and giving.
So, every year, on our birthday, we are reminded that it is not about us. God put us here for a reason and a purpose. That purpose is first God himself, followed by others. This is not to say that we never buy a gift for the person whose birthday it is, or go out to eat as a family. We always do something for the birthday person to show we're thankful for them. None of that is the focus however. The children don't expect to get anything just because it's their birthday. So if they get nothing there is no disappointment. If they do get something, it's an extra blessing. In any case, we've all come to enjoy giving a lot more than getting.
John
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Post by Deleted on Dec 1, 2010 17:01:09 GMT -5
We don't make a big deal about birthdays either, but love the heart behind them, born to serve, as you mentioned! Thanks so much! Great idea! LIZ
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