Post by mom2threeblessings on Nov 4, 2005 13:07:34 GMT -5
Hi and greetings to all in Christ's name. My name is Heather and I am a mother (so far) of 3 blessings ages b-8, b-5, g-3. I live in East Tennessee not far from Knoxville. I found this site when searching for other women that wear the head covering. I was born and raised in a Baptist Church as was my husband, (the son of a Baptist minister) I walked the aisle when I was 8, said the prayer, and did what I thought was expected of me. As a teenager, early 20's I left home for college, and walked away from the Lord and into the world. That is where I stayed for about 10 years. However, after the death of my father and 7 days later the birth of my second child, I began to cry out to God in joy and in grief, and began to wonder about my own salvation. Knowing that my father was with the Lord, made me wonder if someday I would see him again? I could not answer that with any certainty. I began praying and studying God's word. My marriage was a wreck because I was a "liberated" woman and no man was going to tell me what to do, when to do it or how to do it, and submission to me was the same as abuse.... My husband and dear father in law tried to explain it to me, but I cared not to listen. Finally one morning sitting in Church ( I had decided it best to start taking the children, I already knew what they had to say, but you know, the children needed Sunday School.) Well anyway, sitting there one morning, God spoke to my heart and said, I have more for you, I have more for the blessings I have entrusted to you. They can't learn all they need here, they need to learn at home, by example, just as you did from your father. That was a real eye opener, I began to ask God for His forgiveness. I could not imagine one day having to answer to Him for my children's souls, and why I did not teach them His word. Anyway, that was the beginning of a long journey, one that has taken about 5 years total, that has led me to a new faith and trust in the LORD. I first started studying about being a mother and wife, which soon led to studies on submission, but I wasn't ready for that yet, I mean, seriously, that was written 2,000 years ago, women now were equal.. Anyway, each day God would show me something new in His word, each day, something I had read before would take on more meaning and more application in my life, I slowly began to understand that submission did not equal being a doormat, and that I was equal in Christ, but just like a job or anything else, you have to have a boss, or leader, and in life the leaders were God, Christ, my husband, me and my children..... at this time, my husband and I were both still living far away from the Lord and having fun with our friends and hanging out, but I was beginning to give up many of the old ways.. I did not speak to my husband about the things I was learning at first, because I did not feel I could live up to them anyway, I just prayed and prayed, about what I should be doing, I could not tolerate the thoughts of any of my family spending eternity in Hell, or myself for that matter, I still wasn't even sure of my own salvation. The more I prayed the more God spoke through His word, and the more I knew what was expected of me. I started to speak to my husband about quitting work, (he had always wanted me to stay home, but I refused) So, I did that, then I began an in depth study on salvation, and soon, I looked to God, ask His forgiveness, and knew that I was forgiven and that the Blood of Jesus was on my life.. that day my life changed forever, no more did the life of a wife and mother, in keeping with God's headship order and life order seem outrageous, they were something I longed for, something I wanted, something I had wanted many years ago, but had lost sight of. Soon God started to show me verses on covering and modesty, boy those hit home, I was all about dressing up and looking good, I figured if men were lusting that was their sin not mine.. Well, God showed me that was not the case and if I was purposely causing it then I may as well be committing adultery with them.. OUCH... after much prayer and study I talked to my husband about it and he said, "if that is where God is leading you then you had better follow" He said " I am not sure if the covering is meant literally, I think you can dress modestly without dresses, but if you are feeling led to wear a covering and dress, then it would definitely be a sin for you not to obey God." (at this time he still was not attending church with me and the children) He told me he did not think it was a sin for women to not wear a covering, but he did think it a sin to directly disobey God and if I kept being led to those scriptures and those things in my heart then to listen, and do as God was leading me. (he was not attending Church but I must add, that my husband was still a man of prayer and faith, even if he had somewhat walked away for a time, his faith and convictions, and prayer never left him, but he was struggling with other issues..) Anyway, that was last spring near Resurrection Sunday and I took on my covering, and began wearing dresses, and well it has been a difficult and persecuted journey, but God has been faithful. Some of my family were not so supportive, some are, some don't care either way, a couple of friends walked completely away from me and haven't spoken to me since, and these were very close and trusted friends, the ones I thought would be happiest for me. We are now studying God's word as a family, and even though I never spoke to my husband about his life or walk, and only about the things mentioned here, things in our home began quickly changing when I began to walk in obedience to God's commands for wives and mothers.... as I gave up my dominating/controlling attitude and became a modest, covered, submissive woman, with a smile and love for my husband, and respect he had never had from me, he grew also, he stepped up, and now, trusts my opinion more on things, because his heart trusts in me, and he knows that even if I don't agree the decision is his and I will keep him covered in prayer as he makes it, he has also stepped up as the spiritual leader of our home, where before he didn't even say the dinner blessing, or say bedtime prayers with me and the children, he now leads them all.. The change in our marriage is AMAZING... and only God can be given the Glory.. because it was through simple obedience to simple commands that God has taken two conflicting spirits and gave them a love like no other.. we always loved each other, but not like we do now, and even though we still disagree, we no longer yell, scream, name call, or act like 3 year olds...now we can simply and calmly talk, not become defensive, and pray together, I know what my job is and I have given up trying to be the equal head of my household and taken to trying to live up to being a Titus 2/Proverbs 31 wife and mother..,..not a modern worldly, expectation of a wife and mother..
Well, that is my story, that is my journey, TO GOD BE THE GLORY GREAT THINGS HE HAS DONE!!!!!!!
Thanks for letting me share....
In Christ's Love,
Heather in TN
Well, that is my story, that is my journey, TO GOD BE THE GLORY GREAT THINGS HE HAS DONE!!!!!!!
Thanks for letting me share....
In Christ's Love,
Heather in TN