Post by George on Dec 2, 2006 1:49:10 GMT -5
Anger Management
By: George Groce
First I think it necessary to understand that the term “anger management” is a term that has been concocted by the postmodern psychological community. Those are the same folks that profess that our biggest problem in life is probably our lack of self-esteem. However, reliance on self is what usually causes the anger problems in the first place.
It is important to remember that anger is probably the single largest killer of addicts. It is also very important to keep in mind the Bible says we are all addicted to sin. Anger gets in the way of life and causes conditions that lead to nothing but shame, humiliation and often-even violence. It is the fuming, seething anger that can cause an addict, read: sinner, to stumble and fall flat on their face when dealing with the situations in life. That same anger can often cause a return to the addictive lifestyle and sometimes perpetrate violence and even murder.
The key to “anger management” is to not allow anger to enter into our lives. Your may find yourself saying that this is not a realistic statement. It is very realistic. I have not found myself truly angry at anything or anyone in about four years now. There is no reason for it. It is counter-productive and self-defeating. Let us take a look at the anger situation from a Biblical standpoint.
(Eph 4:26) Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath:
There are those that profess that this verse means that it is okay to be angry, that the important thing is what we do with the anger. I personally believe that it is not okay to be angry. It accomplishes no good thing. It is pointless and only serves to perpetuate itself. Let us take a little closer look at this verse. "Eph 4:26 - Be ye angry, and sin not - That is, if ye are angry, take heed ye sin not. Anger at sin is not evil; but we should feel only pity to the sinner. If we are angry with the person, as well as the fault, we sin. And how hardly do we avoid it. Let not the sun go down upon your wrath - Reprove your brother, and be reconciled immediately. Lose not one day. A clear, express command." Notice that this short commentary from Wesley says that if we are angry with the PERSON as well as the fault that person has committed, we sin. Is not the very first principle of Reformers Unanimous, “If God is against it, so am I?” God is definitely against sin. Therefore if we are angry with a person and not the person’s action we are involved in sin and have a problem in our relationship with The Lord.
(Eph 4:29) Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.
Words spoken in anger are corrupt communication. There is nothing that concerns words spoken in anger that can even remotely be considered edifying as we are told to do in this verse. Let only good communication come out of your mouth that is suitable to building one another up is another way to express that verse. Notice also that in this verse the Bible tells us that the things that come out of our mouth are supposed to minister GRACE to those that hear our words. There is no grace in words spoken in anger.
(Mat 15:18) But those things which proceed out of the mouth come forth from the heart; and they defile the man.
In reference to that verse remember again that the Bible includes the following verse:
(Jer 17:9) The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?
If you tie those verses together you will see that since our heart is deceitful above ALL things, and since things that come out of our mouth come from that deceitful heart it is very easy to see that anger does not come from a place that is edifying to another nor in any way does it serve to build up another.
(Eph 4:31) Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamor, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice: (Eph 4:32) And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you.
Let us dissect and define these two verses. First let us look at the word “all.” All means all. It even means more than that. All in this verse means all, any, every and all manner of. Bitterness is pretty easy to understand but to expand on it a little more it also means literally and figuratively, poison and bitterness. Wrath is another word that is not difficult to understand but the Biblical meaning of it goes farther again than does our usual understanding of the word. Wrath as used in this verse means fierceness and indignation. Anger means violent passion, indignation and vengeance. Clamor also means tumult. Evil speaking means blasphemy and railing. Malice means depravity, or malignity, or trouble: - evil, malice (-iousness), naughtiness, wickedness.
Is that not a bunch of warnings and commands right there? Notice I said commands and not commandments although this subject does fall under the Two Commandments of Christ. Let us try to put this verse back together using the expanded definitions I have given you: Let all, any, every and all manner of poison and bitterness, fierceness and indignation, violent passion and vengeance, tumult, blasphemy and railing, depravity and malignity, trouble, evil, maliciousness, naughtiness and wickedness be put completely out of our lives.
The second verse is fairly easy but does bear a little explanation. Be kind to each other and forgive each other. Does that include be angry with each other? I think not. Look at the last part of the verse. God, for the sake of His Only Son who loved us and gave Himself for us has forgiven us. How can we, as mere mortal creations of the Most High God not forgive others? What right do we have as creations of The Creator to think ourselves better than He and not follow His admonition to forgive one another?
So you can see from all of this the importance and biblical command to put anger completely out of our lives. Again I tell you that this is a realistic state of being. It can be done. You may be asking yourself how can it be done? You may also be thinking that I am completely crazy. As I said previously, since I have been freed of the bondage of alcohol and drugs and surrendered my life to The Lord I have not been truly angry with anyone or anything. If I can do it, anyone can do it.
The only way that anger can be put out of our lives is through a complete reliance on God and an understanding of His Will for us. As we say in Church, God has given us a written instruction manual. We are to study it each day. Not just read the Bible, but study it. That is the only way to get a closer understanding of God’s Will for us and how to apply it to our lives so that the things that caused us to be mired down in our addictions in the first place no longer exist or if they do pop into our lives uninvited we have a way to deal with them.
(2 Timothy 2:15) Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth.
Now we get to the practical application of the anger problem and how we can apply the solution to our lives. Again, the solution is in God through our Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ.
First when faced with a situation that either we allow to cause anger or potentially can cause anger we must pray. Pray for all we are worth. One thing that I find particularly helpful is not only to pray that the feeling be eliminated from me but also pray for the other person. I have found that even if the other person involved does not change, over a period of time my attitude changes and the possibility of anger does not exist any longer.
Secondly I have found it rather an important tool to use to become the FIRST to apologize. Even if you do not feel apologetic for the things said, if they are said in anger then the method of delivery of the words needs be apologized for. It is a good thing to go to the other person and tell them that you realize that what was said was said out of frustration and anger and was not the proper thing to do and apologize for the method used EVEN IF YOU THINK THAT WHAT YOU SAID WAS THE RIGHT THING TO SAY!
The reason for this is really two-fold. First it gets us right with God. God balances guilt with blame. If we accept the blame for our actions (anger), God, by our repentance and His forgiveness will eliminate any guilt we have over what we have done.
Secondly it puts the ball squarely in the other person’s court. If we do what is the proper thing to do to get right with God and then we do what is the proper thing to do to attempt to get right with the other person we no longer have a burden to carry. If the other person still chooses to be angry over the situation, so be it. There is nothing we can do except to pray for that person.
The Bible says that we are to esteem others better than ourselves.
(Phi 2:3) Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves.
This study could go on and on. There is a lot of information available in the Bible about anger and how we are to treat others. As you can readily see, if we have anger in our lives we are not within God’s Will for us and therefore in sin..
By: George Groce
First I think it necessary to understand that the term “anger management” is a term that has been concocted by the postmodern psychological community. Those are the same folks that profess that our biggest problem in life is probably our lack of self-esteem. However, reliance on self is what usually causes the anger problems in the first place.
It is important to remember that anger is probably the single largest killer of addicts. It is also very important to keep in mind the Bible says we are all addicted to sin. Anger gets in the way of life and causes conditions that lead to nothing but shame, humiliation and often-even violence. It is the fuming, seething anger that can cause an addict, read: sinner, to stumble and fall flat on their face when dealing with the situations in life. That same anger can often cause a return to the addictive lifestyle and sometimes perpetrate violence and even murder.
The key to “anger management” is to not allow anger to enter into our lives. Your may find yourself saying that this is not a realistic statement. It is very realistic. I have not found myself truly angry at anything or anyone in about four years now. There is no reason for it. It is counter-productive and self-defeating. Let us take a look at the anger situation from a Biblical standpoint.
(Eph 4:26) Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath:
There are those that profess that this verse means that it is okay to be angry, that the important thing is what we do with the anger. I personally believe that it is not okay to be angry. It accomplishes no good thing. It is pointless and only serves to perpetuate itself. Let us take a little closer look at this verse. "Eph 4:26 - Be ye angry, and sin not - That is, if ye are angry, take heed ye sin not. Anger at sin is not evil; but we should feel only pity to the sinner. If we are angry with the person, as well as the fault, we sin. And how hardly do we avoid it. Let not the sun go down upon your wrath - Reprove your brother, and be reconciled immediately. Lose not one day. A clear, express command." Notice that this short commentary from Wesley says that if we are angry with the PERSON as well as the fault that person has committed, we sin. Is not the very first principle of Reformers Unanimous, “If God is against it, so am I?” God is definitely against sin. Therefore if we are angry with a person and not the person’s action we are involved in sin and have a problem in our relationship with The Lord.
(Eph 4:29) Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.
Words spoken in anger are corrupt communication. There is nothing that concerns words spoken in anger that can even remotely be considered edifying as we are told to do in this verse. Let only good communication come out of your mouth that is suitable to building one another up is another way to express that verse. Notice also that in this verse the Bible tells us that the things that come out of our mouth are supposed to minister GRACE to those that hear our words. There is no grace in words spoken in anger.
(Mat 15:18) But those things which proceed out of the mouth come forth from the heart; and they defile the man.
In reference to that verse remember again that the Bible includes the following verse:
(Jer 17:9) The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?
If you tie those verses together you will see that since our heart is deceitful above ALL things, and since things that come out of our mouth come from that deceitful heart it is very easy to see that anger does not come from a place that is edifying to another nor in any way does it serve to build up another.
(Eph 4:31) Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamor, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice: (Eph 4:32) And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you.
Let us dissect and define these two verses. First let us look at the word “all.” All means all. It even means more than that. All in this verse means all, any, every and all manner of. Bitterness is pretty easy to understand but to expand on it a little more it also means literally and figuratively, poison and bitterness. Wrath is another word that is not difficult to understand but the Biblical meaning of it goes farther again than does our usual understanding of the word. Wrath as used in this verse means fierceness and indignation. Anger means violent passion, indignation and vengeance. Clamor also means tumult. Evil speaking means blasphemy and railing. Malice means depravity, or malignity, or trouble: - evil, malice (-iousness), naughtiness, wickedness.
Is that not a bunch of warnings and commands right there? Notice I said commands and not commandments although this subject does fall under the Two Commandments of Christ. Let us try to put this verse back together using the expanded definitions I have given you: Let all, any, every and all manner of poison and bitterness, fierceness and indignation, violent passion and vengeance, tumult, blasphemy and railing, depravity and malignity, trouble, evil, maliciousness, naughtiness and wickedness be put completely out of our lives.
The second verse is fairly easy but does bear a little explanation. Be kind to each other and forgive each other. Does that include be angry with each other? I think not. Look at the last part of the verse. God, for the sake of His Only Son who loved us and gave Himself for us has forgiven us. How can we, as mere mortal creations of the Most High God not forgive others? What right do we have as creations of The Creator to think ourselves better than He and not follow His admonition to forgive one another?
So you can see from all of this the importance and biblical command to put anger completely out of our lives. Again I tell you that this is a realistic state of being. It can be done. You may be asking yourself how can it be done? You may also be thinking that I am completely crazy. As I said previously, since I have been freed of the bondage of alcohol and drugs and surrendered my life to The Lord I have not been truly angry with anyone or anything. If I can do it, anyone can do it.
The only way that anger can be put out of our lives is through a complete reliance on God and an understanding of His Will for us. As we say in Church, God has given us a written instruction manual. We are to study it each day. Not just read the Bible, but study it. That is the only way to get a closer understanding of God’s Will for us and how to apply it to our lives so that the things that caused us to be mired down in our addictions in the first place no longer exist or if they do pop into our lives uninvited we have a way to deal with them.
(2 Timothy 2:15) Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth.
Now we get to the practical application of the anger problem and how we can apply the solution to our lives. Again, the solution is in God through our Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ.
First when faced with a situation that either we allow to cause anger or potentially can cause anger we must pray. Pray for all we are worth. One thing that I find particularly helpful is not only to pray that the feeling be eliminated from me but also pray for the other person. I have found that even if the other person involved does not change, over a period of time my attitude changes and the possibility of anger does not exist any longer.
Secondly I have found it rather an important tool to use to become the FIRST to apologize. Even if you do not feel apologetic for the things said, if they are said in anger then the method of delivery of the words needs be apologized for. It is a good thing to go to the other person and tell them that you realize that what was said was said out of frustration and anger and was not the proper thing to do and apologize for the method used EVEN IF YOU THINK THAT WHAT YOU SAID WAS THE RIGHT THING TO SAY!
The reason for this is really two-fold. First it gets us right with God. God balances guilt with blame. If we accept the blame for our actions (anger), God, by our repentance and His forgiveness will eliminate any guilt we have over what we have done.
Secondly it puts the ball squarely in the other person’s court. If we do what is the proper thing to do to get right with God and then we do what is the proper thing to do to attempt to get right with the other person we no longer have a burden to carry. If the other person still chooses to be angry over the situation, so be it. There is nothing we can do except to pray for that person.
The Bible says that we are to esteem others better than ourselves.
(Phi 2:3) Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves.
This study could go on and on. There is a lot of information available in the Bible about anger and how we are to treat others. As you can readily see, if we have anger in our lives we are not within God’s Will for us and therefore in sin..