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Post by sherri on Aug 31, 2004 13:59:27 GMT -5
Greeting ladies! My Jesus is so good to give me this site. My husband and i are from TX. He is in the army, been all over the world and back home safely. God is good to us.  I don't know how to say what i'm going to say, so i suppose i'll just say it and hope people are willing to guide me in the areas that i need guidance... I am 22, been married for nearly 5 yrs. We have 2 children so far, ages 3 and almost 1. I agree with so many of your beliefs, but sadly my husband does not. I want to be honoring to him in all i do, but also honoring unto my LORD. I embrace a simple life, plain dress, good ol fashioned living. But my dear husband says he would be embarrased to go out with me if i were to live that way. I am so sorry, i certainly don't want to paint him in a bad light at all! He's a wonderful father and husband, he's active in our church (southern Baptist) and LOVES the LORD. But he just disagrees that a Christian ought to go to *these* extremes as a means of obeying God and showing that he's a Christian. My heart is in termoil! I love my husband, and i don't want to be a disgrace or embarrassment to him. I want to lift him up and help him, i want to be what God has called me to be to him... but i am so confused in this matter. Something we both have noticed is that God seems to be growing me in areas of obediance so much faster than my dh (dear hubby). And i feel like i'm being hindered of my walk with God because of my dh's lack of desire to obey fully. (even me just saying that right there seemed wrong, but i don't know how else to say it) Sadly i'm finding myself getting resentful, and i KNOW i am soooo wrong for this. Ladies, i really need some prayer and advice. I am TERRIFIED of my children being exposed to all the snares of the world, i'm TERRIFIED of losing them to the world. My dh support my decision to cover (but doesn't think that God has called all women to do this) and we are set on homeschooling, so those things ought to help, but i want the whole package of purity and holiness... Please reply... i'm in tears over this matter... and so confused... |
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Post by benshelpmeet on Aug 31, 2004 14:56:39 GMT -5
I can understand how the worlds influances can be scarry. It sounds like you are getting a good start.
As for your husband be patient with him the Lord doesn't want this to devide your relationship. He's your precious husband and God can work in this situation.
Modesty is the main thing here. The covering is a beautiful testimony for our Lord, but not to cause devision in our marrage. Take all these truths on step at a time. Will he pray and study about it?
Please call me I'll pay, I (PM) you with my phone number. Well talk!
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Post by glenda on Aug 31, 2004 16:05:24 GMT -5
WITH GOD ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE AND CHANGEABLE. I KNOW THIS FIRST HAND. GOD HAS BEEN WORKING ON MY HUSBAND AND MYSELF FOR OVER A YEAR. AT FIRST MY HUSBAND THOUGHT IT WAS NOT FOR OUR FAMILY FOR ME AND OUR THREE GIRLS TO WEAR A COVER. HOWEVER HE DID THINK WE SHOULD HOMESCHOOL, HAVE LONG HAIR AND WEAR DRESSES. WELL GOD IS GOOD. I HAVE FELT FOR OVER A YEAR I SHOULD WEAR A COVER. I PRAYED THAT IF THIS WAS WHAT GOD WANTED FOR OUR FAMILY THAT HE WOULD CHANGE MY HUSBANDS HEART. AND WELL HE DID. WE ARE NOW PROUD OF WEARING OUR COVERINGS. GOD IS GOOD AND DOES ANSWER HIS CHILDRENS PRAYERS. AND AS FAR AS YOUR HUSBANDS THOUGHTS ON HOW PEOPLE WILL RESPOND TO YOU. YES SOME PEOPLE DO LOOK AT YOU FUNNY SOME HAVE QUESTIONS FOR YOU. I AM FINDING HOWEVER THAT I GET MORE LOOKS FROM PEOPLE THAT HAVE KNOWN ME IN THE PAST BEFORE WE STARTED WEARING A COVERING THAN THOSE THAT HAVE NEVER KNOWN ME. JUST REMEMBER GOD HAS TOLD US TO HONOR AND OBEY OUR HUSBANDS.
SOMETHING I WANTED TO TELL YOU ABOUT MY LIFE. I WAS RAISED IN THE CHURCH, MY DEAR HUSBAND WAS NOT. HE WAS NOT SAVED. I WAS, WHEN WE GOT MARRIED IT CAUSED SOME PROBLEMS HOWEVER I PRAYED IT TOOK MANY YEARS ABOUT 8 TO BE HONEST BUT MY HUSBAND WAS SAVED AND NOW BELIVES IN THE WORD. I REMEMBER IN THOSE EARLY YEARS I WOULD NAG HIM ABOUT THINGS I THOUGHT WE SHOULD DO. WHAT I THOUGHT GOD WAS TELLING ME WE SHOULD DO. A DEAR FRIEND TOLD ME THAT IT WAS NOT MY PLACE TO TELL MY HUSBAND HOW TO LEAD OUR HOME. WHEN I STOPPED TELLING HIM HOW TO DO THINGS AND STARTED PRAYING AND LETTING GOD DO HIS WORK THINGS STARTED CHANGING. AND WELL LIKE I SAID NOW I HAVE A GODLY HUSBAND. YOU ARE A STEP ABOVE WHERE I WAS YOU ALREADY HAVE A GODLY MAN. JUST PRAY FOR HIM. GOD CAN CHANGE HIS HEART.
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Post by benshelpmeet on Sept 1, 2004 12:16:34 GMT -5
I'm still praying and will continue to pray. You had faith for my healing and prayed the sweetest prayer and I'm going to pray and have faith God will work on your behalf. God can speak to your dear husband, and guide him in this area. I know you already know that. What kind of covering do you ware?
God can Protect our children from this present evil world around us, but we have to do our part. The kind of music we listen to. ( is the beat country, contempory, pop, rap, or rock?) This beat has the same effect even if you put Jesus words in it, later in life they may be tempted by the beat to listen to non christian music with the same beat.) God forbid! Another area is what kind of toys you let them play with is there a cartoon associated with it? Even good ole Pooh teaches negative traits... Pooh is a Glutton, Pigglet is fearful ( Rev.21:8), Eore is a Manic depressant, Tigger is a fool ( acts foolish and hyper) Rabbit is Angry. Are these the kind of role modles we want for our precious children. This is more important than one might think not as innocent as it seems. We got rid of the Tv almost 5 years ago and it's one of the most important, and best decision we've made for our family. Our children don't even miss it and there more creative and play better with eachother. The TV is a Big one! This is pretty important the TV deciples our children in the ways of the world it Thinking, Attitudes, Practices, Belief system the list goes on and on........ Good videos, ( even christian ) still have comprmises, christians shouldn't make. Friends are very important to monitor. (Evil communications corrupt good maners.) Even small children can teach your children about something they have seen or learned from the TV or there family or friends. Our childrens friends are there brothers and sisters. We do have church friends, but we closely monitor these relationships for any negative or ungodly behaviour, we then talk to the parent and child if this will have positive results, if not we tell our child to just not play with the child, but to be sweet if they say hello or something. I usually try and direct this situation sweetly. Also what they read is very important!
We as parents need to protect there ear gate, eye gate, and here is one there heart gate (what, and who they give there heart to. ) One might say well thats not nice you should not seperate this friendship, I say the proofs in the pudding my son is 17 he's bright, friendly, mature acting, Godly, morally sound, and I have raised him like this. He's a fine young man. My daughters are growing in their walk with the Lord and I expect they'll turn out pretty ok too. I know many good godly christian people who raise their children with the same safe gards and they have godly results and protection from the world and it's influances.
There are plenty of good alternatives. We can descuss the rest later.
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Post by sarahd on Sept 1, 2004 15:23:33 GMT -5
Amen and Amen.
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Post by LindaFisk on Sept 1, 2004 22:23:37 GMT -5
Sherri,
I don't have any useful advice at all, I just wanted to say I understand! My dh and I aren't seeing eye-to eye on somethings right now and I am trying to be good and patient and not nag him. I failed miserably earlier tonight and really bugged him about something that was bothering me and he was angry but I think we worked it out ok. It's not easy to wait and be patient! Anyway,just wanted to let you know I was thinking of you! Linda
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Post by sherri on Sept 1, 2004 22:41:51 GMT -5
Thank you again. We have a TV set in our home, it is plugged into the wall for electricity. But we have no cable, or local or anything coming to the TV except 100% fuzz. We've never had TV since we got married. WE've had the sence to keep that junk out of our home, we are fully aware of its influence. We have preaching videos, creation science stuff, and a few kids videos. I never really thought of the negative influence that childrens videos can have. We have winnie the pooh, i certainly never thought anything of the happy characters, eore and rabbit bugged me with their pessimism. And Dora, Blue's Clues, Veggitales, and Little People Videos.I haven't seen anything wrong with Dora, or Blues Clues at all. Veggiales sometimes gets thing mildly mized up, and leaves a lot of important stuff out. And one video of Little people has reference to magic on it. That video is out of commission. The good news? About 2 weeks ago my hubby and i sat down and talked about the World. We decided it was time to stop watching TV all together for a month and see the fruit. It was hard at first not having Julie watch her ONE video a day while i cleaned the kitchen. And she asked about it, but just took the answer that we weren't watching TV for a month. And she'd go off and play. Hallelujah! 2 weeks into this thing, and quite frankly, i DON'T miss it! I miss watching our home movies of the kids. And i'm sure we will watch those, preaching, and creation science without any qualms. But i think as far as TV goes, we'll keep it out of our home. The world is too powerful to let it creep into our home little by little. My children are too precious to let that happen. We'll see how dh makes his final decison on this matter. I'm in prayer now.
As for sweetly directing my Julie to not play with church kids (one in particular), i'm at a loss. I've never been to good at saying unkind things sweetly. God has a LOT of work to do in that area. Could u suggest some things to say? Excuses to give? The mom has 4 kids, her dh is in iraq, she's at her wits ends, and she would be VERY bitter if anyone ever said anything negative about her children. She is a very sweet lady, i love her, but her daughter has taught my daughter some negative things, and i'd like that to come to a complete stop. The kids see eachother 3-4 times a week, and homechurching is not an option. Ok, lol there's the situation, how ould i sweetly keep my child from this influence?
Sherri
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Post by benshelpmeet on Sept 2, 2004 21:58:59 GMT -5
If it were my situation I would tell the mother of the woman that your little girl has been having bad behaviour, and that you want to keep her with you untill this behaviour is under control.. Isolate until you can insoulate. It really does work. Have her sit in the pew with you, even after church. use this time of seperation to teach her some character lessons. Be sweet to the other little girl, but if she comes around tell her your daughter can't play that she has to stay with you. This is how I would deal with it and I have done this many times and it does work. But I don't know if this is how you would feel comfortable doing. I hope this has at least given you an idea. You'll have to figure out what will work for you and your family. We have to mold our children while there young. If we don't take the bull by the horns, things can get out of hand.
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Post by sherri on Sept 2, 2004 23:44:08 GMT -5
Darlene, thank you so much, it sounds so simple now that i read it, but for the life of me i couldn't think of how to word what i'd say. I never thought of making it about MY dd. But in the end MY dd is my only concern, so why shouldn't it be about her? We've been keeping her with us during the service on sunday mornings, and just that has been a big help. We still put her in the nursery on sunday nights and wed nights. I need to just keep her with me all the time. She's getting better and better each week as far as her attitude. Thanks for the insite, i WILL use it!
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Post by sherri on Sept 2, 2004 23:52:57 GMT -5
OK, i think i should update my original post. I have been keeping my mouth quiet on all these issues since i began coming here. U ladies are really encouraging, thank you! And things have been just wonderful! I'm not churning inside my spirit anymore. I'm content waitingo n the LORD in this matter. My dd also wants to be like me, so i let her wear a covering too. Dh says he doesn't want to force it on her, but let it be her decision. And so far everyday she's chosen to wear it. She plays a lot so it falls off a lot, and most of the time she asks me to put it on again, sometimes she doesn't want to be bothered by it. But the bottom line is that things are toning down as far as tension, and well, to be honest, God must be coming down from the Throne in Heaven to meet with me everyday, and He takes my hand, and places it over my mouth, and forbids me to speak in times when He would rather i be quiet. LOL LOL LOL He is so good to me!
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Post by benshelpmeet on Sept 3, 2004 1:07:15 GMT -5
Sherri,
Your posts are so encouraging to me. Your a bright spot in my day. I praise the Lord for sending you here.
We have unifyed services in our church meaning we keep all our children in the service with us and worship as a family. We love it . It's old fashioned. Back in the old days families used to be close, love the Lord, live pure lives, etc...... Thats good livin. Amen!
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Post by hszoo on Sept 3, 2004 9:17:56 GMT -5
Sherri, Your posts are so encouraging to me. Your a bright spot in my day. I praise the Lord for sending you here. We have unifyed services in our church meaning we keep all our children in the service with us and worship as a family. We love it . It's old fashioned. Back in the old days families used to be close, love the Lord, live pure lives, etc...... Thats good livin. Amen! Darlene, this is something I wish more churches would do. I cannot understand the mentality of shuttling different aged children off to different rooms of the building away from parents. Especially with children who are in public school or even Christian school, those kids have already been segregated by age and from their parents all week long and then again on Sunday in the church. I wonder how churches expect children to learn to act properly in the service if they're never in there? To be honest, I've seen more children saved under the preaching in the main service than in any other "ministries" in all their separate locations. |
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Post by glenda on Sept 3, 2004 9:32:28 GMT -5
It is a sad state when we as parents want to get rid of our children as soon as we reach the church. I am like you ladies. How can we expect our children to act like adults when all we tell them is go play with your friends. How can we expect them to know the word of god when we tell them to go play in the gym of the church with your friends. i am not saying all churches are like this but some are. We need to bring back the children in the church they need to be taught to listen to the preacher. If they have questions they can be answered after the service.
We treat our children like they are tumb like they would not understand what the pastor has to say. Yes sometimes they will have questions you or the pastor will need to answer but they will know the truth in the word not some watered down version for kids.
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Post by hszoo on Sept 3, 2004 10:29:07 GMT -5
It is a sad state when we as parents want to get rid of our children as soon as we reach the church. I am like you ladies. How can we expect our children to act like adults when all we tell them is go play with your friends. How can we expect them to know the word of god when we tell them to go play in the gym of the church with your friends. i am not saying all churches are like this but some are. We need to bring back the children in the church they need to be taught to listen to the preacher. If they have questions they can be answered after the service. We treat our children like they are tumb like they would not understand what the pastor has to say. Yes sometimes they will have questions you or the pastor will need to answer but they will know the truth in the word not some watered down version for kids. I agree! When you really think about it, it doesn't make sense to say children can't understand God's word. After all, we expect them to understand so many other things. We teach them math, science, history. We teach them to read, to share, to treat us with respect. We teach them to talk, to have proper manners. We teach them rules of games. And how often have children repeated something they heard on TV or in a movie? And think of the times we've read story books to them and they know very quickly if you've skipped a page or not! God made His word simple to understand so that even young people can comprehend it. Yet, in the churches, it's often thought that children need a puppet show or cartoon pictures to understand? No. Children who can understand abstract concepts such as truth, love and beauty can also understand the more basic doctrines of salvation and Christian growth. Add to that the very fact that we parents have the primary responsibility of teaching those things to our children, as stated in Deut 6:6-7 6 And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart: 7 And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up. KJV We really need to take this job more seriously. It's not the church's job to educate our children. It's our job. God said so both in the OT in Deut. and in the NT in Eph 6:4 4 And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. KJV |
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Post by glenda on Sept 3, 2004 10:41:20 GMT -5
AMEN!!
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