Divorce and Church discipline

[debelynne]

Dear Bro. Ben...I have a question...I have a sister in Christ who has filed divorce after 5 years of marriage. She has been in a very abusive relationship, and has actually had to call the police at one time. She and her husband have been in counseling for the past 2 years with our church pastor. Her husband claims to be a christain, but his actions do not speak his claim. He uses abusive language towards his wife, he has theatened her and his young 2 year old daughter, he has been known to use abusive language toward complete strangers and once even pulled a gun. He has a horrid temper. His wife is scared for her and their childrens lives. The problem is that the church including the pastor feels she is making a mountain out of a mole hill. She has no gounds for divorce. They are going to take church discipline on her. They won't even listen to her. They say she should just file for a legal seperation, and try to work things out. She is heart broken, scared and no one seems to listen to her. Are they right in their harsh judgement or does she have a right to run for her life and her little ones?

[Brother Ben]

First let me say, what a sad and terrible situation! I want to write this carefully because I want to be clear. First of all I am against divorce in almost every case. I am not denying that sometimes it happens, or maybe even sometimes is the best thing that could happen humanly speaking, I just feel that we too often opt for divorce when the Lord could work, as I have seen Him do in in pretty bad situations. However, if this man is abusive, then the sister and the children need to vacate until he is willing to place himself under a group of men for couseling and accountability.

I can't speak for those who are making judgement about her "grounds for divorce," but there is grounds for some type of action. You know what old Bro Roloff used to say, "Throw the bum in jail and let God's ordained ministers (law enforcement) deal with him. He said many a man has gotten right with God in jail when they realized how wicked they have been.

If he does not, or will not repent, then he is to be treated as an unsaved man and she is to do what she sees best for her and the children regardless what men say. Again let me say, I am against divorce, but which sin do you deal with the sorrow of divorce, or the sorrow of letting some bum beat you or your children up? I'd call the cops!

Bro. Ben