Modesty for men and boys - principles/practices?

[robertcolumbia]

What do y'all feel are the important aspects of modesty as it relates to men and boys? What common men's attire do you feel is "immodest"? Do you have any household rules regarding male dress?

It seems to me that Evangelicals mostly treat this as a non-issue or only give it token coverage as an "oh, by the way, guys need to be modest too, let's get on to the next topic", as very few men in Evangelical churches are "counseled" on their immodesty due to secular men's styles in general not emphasizing sexuality to a degree anywhere near as close to secular women's styles.

I do know that some Mennonites and Amish have dress codes for men, but they do not seem to impact modesty, but are related to humility. How do y'all feel about these practices? Are there things that guys shouldn't wear that are wrong for a purpose other than immodesty?

I welcome the views of brothers and sisters on this topic.

[benshelpmeet]

What a needful topic Bro Robert,

Men struggle with vanity and image too. Modesty is modesty....not flashy or eye catching, not form fitting or revealing. Dress to cloth the body not to make a fashion statement. Hats, glasses, shoes, pants, shirts, hair cut, beard cut, etc...need to reflect a godly chaste christian man. Clean and orderly.

The Males in the Smith household wear loose but not too loose fitting pants, a belt or suspenders or bib overalls, a med to long sleeve button up shirt (solid or plaid), Ben wears a white T-shirt underneath, little Caleb does when he remembers he's 7. They wear comfortable casual shoes for work, play and church. Caleb has rubber boots, and gators too, and sometimes bare feet.

They like a straw hat for working out in the sun with.

They do not wear suits and ties or spiffy shoes.

No shorts or t- shirts even when they swim.

Well I think that's about all. Modest Christian men are a blessing to the sisters as well as modest christian women are a blessing to the christian brothers. Why do christians need to doll up the flesh or outward appearance, just present yourself as you are, modestly clothed, clean and orderly. Let the inner you shine through in a godly manner and be used of God as He sees fit.

those are my thoughts on this needful topic, thank you for starting this thread. I was just about to make a post on modesty myself, over in the sisters section. So many sisters are carried away with the modest covering look and miss the teaching of modesty altogether. It's getting late, I'll have to post later. My baby girl is calling for mama.

A member of eternity stranded in time, ~ sister Darlene ~

[Brother Ben]

Here's our position. This is what Jesus did for us (men in this case,)

Rev. 1:5b . . . Unto him that loved us, and washed us from our sins in his own blood,
Rev 1:6 And hath made us kings and priests unto God and his Father; to him [be] glory and dominion for ever and ever. Amen.


When Christ saved us, he put made us priests of God to stand between a Holy God, and our fellow man. As ministers of that office, we have a higher standard to uphold. Notice the intruction to Aaron and his sons:

Exd 28:42 And thou shalt make them linen breeches to cover their nakedness; from the loins even unto the thighs they shall reach:
Exd 28:43 And they shall be upon Aaron, and upon his sons, when they come in unto the tabernacle of the congregation, or when they come near unto the altar to minister in the holy [place]; that they bear not iniquity, and die: [it shall be] a statute for ever unto him and his seed after him.

We know that they already wore a garment that covered the legs, albeit, a flowing garment of their day and culture, but it covered the leg completely. However, God did not want them to sin against his holy standard and the consciences of the people so he had them also wear "breeches," that is to say, a long underwear, that they would never show their nakedness.

Some may claim, in this case, that a Bermuda short, then, would be acceptable. My thoughts would be, why would one want to wear the bear minimum? So, the breeches only covered the thigh, but the over garment did more. It is a sad representation of Christianity when our standard is, "What is the least I can get away with?" This seems to be the motto of the age.

Likewise, a man's shirt should not reveal his chest. We used to go to a church where one of the men who took up the Sunday evening offering kept a few top buttons unbuttoned and wore a gold necklace. We called him Elvis, (sorry.) This is an attempt to look neat, suave, whatever you want to call it, we think it is carnal, fleshly, and ungodly.

On another occasion, I was talking to a Oneness Pentecostal preacher, their women have a dress standard, and he was in a slick looking jogging suit, with the jacket zipped down some, to expose his chest, and had on a gold necklace. Why? It's and unequal balance. They expect their woment to practice their standard, but do not have one for the men.

Actually, we wear a teeshirt year around. In regards to short sleeve shirts, I think they are o.k., (it sure gets hot and muggy in the South,) BUT, one needs to be careful especially if they may have tatooes from their unsaved days. I have one preacher friend who wears long sleeves all year because he was a skin head before God saved him and has tatooes on his forearms.

We are living in the Laodicean age and Christ's instruction is as follows:

Rev 3:14 ¶ And unto the angel of the church of the Laodiceans write; These things saith the Amen, the faithful and true witness, the beginning of the creation of God;
Rev 3:15 I know thy works, that thou art neither cold nor hot: I would thou wert cold or hot.
Rev 3:16 So then because thou art lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will spue thee out of my mouth.
Rev 3:17 Because thou sayest, I am rich, and increased with goods, and have need of nothing; and knowest not that thou art wretched, and miserable, and poor, and blind, and [/b]naked[/b]:
Rev 3:18 I counsel thee to buy of me gold tried in the fire, that thou mayest be rich; and white raiment, that thou mayest be clothed, and [that] the shame of thy nakedness do not appear; and anoint thine eyes with eyesalve, that thou mayest see.
Rev 3:19 As many as I love, I rebuke and chasten: be zealous therefore, and repent.[/color]

That is our feelings on the matter.

Bro. Ben

Aspicio Is cometes (Behold He cometh)

[Deleted]

Thanking Bro. Robert for initiating this thread and Bro. Ben and Sis Darleen for sharing their wisdom; we used this as the basis for family worship last evening.

We dress modestly by the world's standards but are not plain.

This thread helped the boys to understand better why we have the rules that we do regarding their attire, because they ask (from time to time) why they must dress as we have them to, which is markedly different from their peers and even those in our church assembly (This year's Easter dresses were horrifying-completely immodest-one shoulder, no straps, mid thigh, I was repulsed; and boys in shorts and jeans, but that is another story). Especially good to remind the teenager, who is focused a bit more on his appearance than he has been previously.

Bro. Ben, I especially appreciate the continuity of scripture you showed, ALL scripture is profitable and it ALL provides a congruous message from the Lord.

Thanking all of you again.

[Elizabeth]

The church that I attend has a men dress code.. They do not like the women to dress modestly and the men to not.. The young men wear nice button down collar shirts with either a jacket or a vest.. Their pants have to fit them in the waist and they can not be baggy or too tight.. I think that if the church believes in Modesty then it should be both the men and women to do it.. Not just the women.. I have seen in churches that its ok that the men go around dressing what ever way they like and then getting asked why they dress that way and their wife dresses Modestly.. This is my thoughts.. Hope this helps some..
Hope you have a very blessed day!!
Blessings,
Elizabeth

[rachel]

I believe that modesty in clothing is just as important for men and women. Quite apart from the fact that having females dress modestly but not the males indicates some difficulty with one's logic and thought processes, dressing in long trousers and decent shirt just makes people look so much neater and tidier.

For me, basic covering/clothing modesty includes covering
1) the shoulders and upper arms. I never wear sleeveless tops and I think it just looks disconcerting on either sex,
2) the legs. At least to the knees. Short-shorts, really? Yuck.
3) the head (for women).
4) it goes without saying really that the torso (anywhere between collarbone, shoulders, and knees) should be covered, and
5) to reinforce 4, the chest area. For me, this means anything from around the collarbone below. Oh, and it just looks untidy to wear a button-top shirt and have the buttons undone. The buttons are there for a reason, people! Oh, yeah, and
6) the feet. I think having bare feet is all right around the house, with just family, but going out with bare feet is sort of yucky. Enclosed shoes are good. I wear high-topped black lace-up ones. I have some which cover the ankle, too, but more often than not I just wear black school shoes. I got used to them when I went to face-to-face school and they're very well-wearing and comfortable. It is possible to wear modest sandals in summer, you can get some which come up fairly high at the ankle and cover most of the foot except for some slits. I think these are all right. But I hate thongs (yes! I know! I'm an Aussie who hates thongs!). Also, I don't think men should wear those sort of thin, material, sort of jiffies. Why anyone would wear them is beyond me as dropping something on your foot with them on would result in serious damage to the foot, which defies the purpose of actually wearing shoes, but still.

Now I am really rather babbling. In summation, to answer your questions;

1) What sommon men's attire do you feel is 'immodest'?
Well, as you've probably worked out,
a) singlets, vests (without something underneath), tight-fitting t-shirts, t-shirts with short sleeves, normal shirts with short sleeves, button-top shirts with the buttons at the top undone.
b) shorts, and cargo pants, and tight pants
c) thongs, jiffies, material shoes, et cetera

2) Do you have any household rules regarding male dress?
There is only one male in my house, my father, but regarding my entire family, yes, there probably is. The strange thing about my extended family is that they seem more inclined to inforce modesty in males than in females, at least by the world's standards.
My father generally wears long trousers or, in summer, shorts to his knees which I think are generally off-cuts of his trousers (we have really hot summers here!). He also wears collared shirts, either actual shirts or polo-shirts, but he has an annoying habit of having at least three buttons undone. Yuck.
My Australian cousins wear the same sort of thing as my father in trousers, but they wear loose t-shirts. I think long-sleeves t-shirts with a high neckline are all right.
My English cousins wear long trousers, button-front shirts, and woollen jumpers. And socks and black shoes. I think this is pretty much what I would expect of modest-dressing men, with the exception of the jumper in hot weather. It's just that there isn't such a thing as hot weather in England, so my cousins almost always wear woollen jumpers.

So, I have a pretty long-winded view on modesty for males. But I believe that modesty in both sexes is important, and is often overlooked for males. I find that even in churches which don't require skirts or headcovering for females, when girls get to a certain age, they're told, no mini-skirts, tight-fitting clothes, or low necklines... but I don't think that boys get told the same sort of thing. Many boys, especially teens and those in their twenties, wear rather vomit-inducing TIGHT clothes these days which are really disconcerting to look at and probably encourage the wrong sorts of thoughts and attention from females the same age.

Although, in regards to short sleeves, I think there's a difference between short and SHORT. Short, as in, to about the elbow, I think is okay. But many clothes, especially women's clothes, are made with short meaning barely covering the shoulder. I don't think that's okay, and many women in my church, even those who don't wear skirts and headcoverings, agree with me on this. I haven't spoken to any males about it becaues, seriously, talking to boys about clothes?

I hope I haven't said anything too controversial, and I like hearing others' opinions on this, especially as modest-dressing for males so is overlooked and, I think, so important.

[michelle]

I am so thankful that my husband dresses modestly. Even his short sleeve shirts the sleeves come to his elbows. I don't think that he has ever owned a pair of shorts.

We both believe that modesty standards apply to men too, that while there are differences in application (ie women wear skirts and dresses, men wear long pants), there isn't a difference in the actual standard.