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Post by shoshana on May 29, 2006 8:26:47 GMT -5
I have lived here now for 2 years and 11 months and find going to church so frustrating. I don't believe there are "perfect" churches and I don't believe that I have all the answers either. The churches here are so weak. We have visited so many of them.
Yesterday I was at one for the first time on a Sunday morning (visited one Sunday night and one Wednesday night before). The morning service began at 11:00am and I was in my car to leave by 11:44! I could not believe how short and how speedily the service went. I guess everyone was in a hurry to get to the "Memorial Day" cookout. Welcome, lets sing. 3 hymns 123. Short, pathetic, weak, stretch to make the Scripture-match-the-sermon.......pastor had not even finished the second syllable of Amen when the music guy said quickly "Turn to hymn #.....for the closing hymn"
This church was not as bad as some in the dressing department. Around here I have given up hope of finding a church that preaches dress standards......and I have had friends that did not share my dress standards and nor do I expect everyone to be a carbon-copy of me.....but the dress or lack thereof is atrocious. A few weeks ago I was at a church and was walking out behind the 45 year old music leaders wife and her skirt was so short I don't think it could even be called a skirt......and then there is the young woman and her teenage daughters that where such tight-tight pants......am I just being critical? How many churches do I have to visit before I just give up?
All my life my friends have been from church (and this is not because I never moved as I lived in 3 states as a child and moved twice as a married adult before moving here) but I just cannot seem to find that here. I so crave fellowship. Accountability. Meaty sermons and Bible Studies.
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Post by Deleted on May 29, 2006 8:45:25 GMT -5
Dear Sister - we are in the same predicament. The city we live in is VERY liberal ... very very very liberal. I have looked for the last 8 months for a decent church (like you, I do not expect the church to be perfect ... but certain qualities and beliefs are important to me). I have yet to find anything even close. We have been going to a conservative Mennonite church that's about an hour away. I do not believe everything they do and could never be a member because I am divorced and remarried ... however it's such a nice church with great fellowship. The children love it too. We have went there about 4-5 times in the last 8 months and plan to go about once a month from now on - I've pretty much given up on finding anything close to us. In between visits, the children and I listen to sermon tapes at home from various churches - from the Mennonite church that's near by, from Charity Christian Fellowship in PA www.charityministries.org/tapeministry/index.cfmand also from www.thefaithoncedelivered.org. I'm sure there's plenty more, but these are my favorites. All of these churches have different beliefs one from another, but they also have several in common. Between the tapes, reading our Bibles, doing Bible studies, and devotions, we have a pretty well rounded time with God's word. Of course it would be ideal to have like-minded fellowship close to us, but I'm thinking that's just not God's will for us right now. Have you tried home churches? Maybe there are some in your area. There are a few home church sites: www.housechurch.org/registry/index.htmlwww.hccentral.com/directory/My husband is not Christian, otherwise we'd just start our own home church! The children and I do the best we can ... and I guess you could say we home church even w/out my husband. Hope that helped. Have a great day.
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Post by homeschoolmom on May 29, 2006 9:38:26 GMT -5
Same situation over here too. We are in a very liberal, Catholic area. NY/NJ is not known for their conservative Baptist churches However, we do have really great food to drown your furstrations in. ;D In NY, which is very Roman Catholic, we never did really find a church-we sorta changed churches a lot in frustration. We had a bad experience with a church also that turned out to be very cult-like. I went to two churches where they actually told me that I could not headcover in the church because it is legalistic. In NJ (we've been here about 9 months) I have searched high and low on the internet, phone books and word of mouth. Not much. I visisted a pretty decent church the other day and I think this one can be a possibility. It is not headcovering church but very few churches are. The children go to Sunday School/Junior Church. I guess nothing will ever be perfect, right? My kids keep asking us-when will we find a church and why can't we just go to that Baptist church right there? This should be a simple thing and instead it is so hard. Trying to explain all this to small children makes it worse. I tell them we are supposed to go to church but then we can't find one?
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Post by prv31wife on May 29, 2006 13:02:38 GMT -5
We have the same thing here. Santa Barbara is extremely liberal and it echos in most churches. I get so sick of coming to church and seeing the women and girls in low cut blouses and short skirts. Yesterday, I almost decided never to return to our church again. >:(There was so much cleavage showing, that Victoria's Secret was almost out! I know too there are no perfect churches but I wish we can find a church that believes in modesty, men in leadership, etc. Unfortunately with summer coming, I know that the women, will be coming to church in immodest clothing and I just want to stay away all summer. We are going to take a two day vacation in July and will be visiting a Conservative Mennonite church which is 2 hours away from us! That's why we are making it a two day vacation because the service starts at 10 and since we have trouble getting anywhere on time we decided to go up on Saturday so we can get to church on time the next day. Anyway, I feel your pain. Too bad we can't all just meet together for service. I think we would all be so blessed and encouraged
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Post by George on May 29, 2006 15:34:17 GMT -5
Amen to that! Santa Barbara is in a world all its own. I had a dear friend who is one of the most godly men I have ever met and an incredible preacher, attempt to plant an independent, fundamental Baptist Church in Santa Barbara. He failed miserably. Although he was up to averaging about 50 per service the number of people in the Church just could not support him. It is far too expensive to live there.
So the people of Santa Barbara lost an incredible man of God. He is now in Florida and doing quite well.
In Christ, George
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Post by shoshana on May 29, 2006 17:20:24 GMT -5
Thank you all for your responses. Please forgive me as I have been convicted this afternoon that I was whiney and complaing (....do all things without grumbling and complaining). Even though I do believe that God's plan for everyone is to be in good like-minded fellowships HE has a perfect plan for us and we must trust HIM even in this "wilderness" experience. I have thought of a couple of things to be thankful for in not having a good church. #1. It causes me to cry out to HIM all the more. #2. I am not tempted to put man or a fellowship before HIM. #3. If he tarries and we are once again in a good fellowship I will more appreciate it from this experience. . Have you tried home churches? . Back in Texas we were involved in several home churches over the years and actually I believe they are more like what is more like a New Testament Church because the groups are usually more involved with each others lives. I don't know of any around here though :-( Also, a problem I have since 2001 when I got very ill with chemical sensitivity is that I have a hard time going into most peoples homes because of all the scents. I have this same problem at many churches as well. Years ago we were able to attend some Charity meetings down in Texas and it was great. I have their Godly Home tapes.
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Post by shoshana on May 29, 2006 17:21:56 GMT -5
I visisted a pretty decent church the other day and I think this one can be a possibility. I hope it turns out to be a good one for your family homeschoolmom!
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Post by shoshana on May 29, 2006 17:24:11 GMT -5
. Santa Barbara is extremely liberal prv31wife, My husband and I had our honeymoon in Santa Barbara. I lived in the City of Orange California from ages 7 to 21 when I got married and moved to Texas.
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Post by prv31wife on May 29, 2006 17:24:38 GMT -5
Is this the Moger family? They were part of our homeschool group and had a Ind. Baptist Church but it just got so expensive living here so they moved to Florida and the church is gone.
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Post by George on May 29, 2006 20:02:37 GMT -5
The very same. Brother Travis was a dear friend. As you may be aware he was a Lt. Cmdr. in the Naval Reserve. He served as a Chaplain with the 2/23rd Marines in Iraq. He was there during the invasion and all. I corresponded with him during that time. I dearly miss him and his family.
In Christ, George
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Post by Deleted on May 29, 2006 20:17:33 GMT -5
I have to share a story now. I have been praying a lot for like-minded fellowship. I realized that it was God's will that I was without a church or without like-minded fellowship, and when the time was right He'd put the right person or church in my path. A few weeks ago I was at the post office mailing some used homeschooling books to my ex-sister in law. A guy behind me said "I like your dress". I am a very shy person and do not like talking to men, so I was scared to turn around. But I did, and I said "thank you". He continued to talk "where did you buy it, or did you make it?" "I made it" "Oh, that's great, my wife makes all her dresses and skirts; what church do you go to?" That gave me the chance to explain that I had been unable to find a church in this very liberal place and had just decided to do 'home church' with the children till the Lord told me otherwise. He said they were pretty much in the same boat. They've been here for 5 months (we are military living on Fort Lewis) and have yet to find a church. I gave him my email address and he said he'd have his wife contact me. Well, a few weeks went by and she never contacted me I left it in the Lord's hands. Tonight I had to go to the post office to drop of a letter to my mom who really need to borrow $$. I have been procrastinating ALL DAY on dropping it of - I did not want to go anywhere today, but I had to. So, I finally decided that if I don't go now, it wont happen, and my mom is really depending on us so I had no choice. I was praying as I started to drive - no one was with me so I was praying out loud. I prayed again for like minded fellowship and how I just wanted to get out of this place because it's so ungodly - everything around us is ungodly and it can get frustrating at times. I wanted oranges and looked to see if the commissary (grocery store) was open - I figured it would be closed because it's Memorial Day. It was open so I went there after the post office. Guess who I ran in to? Yeap, that same guy as before - he didn't plan on going to the store either but they needed one more item for supper. He said the Lord must really want us to keep in touch because he was just talking to his wife this morning saying how it was too bad that he lost my email address because they wanted to get in touch with me. We talked for a few minutes and found out we have a lot in common. I gave him my email again and he said his wife would be contacting me. Of course it's all in God's hands, but I left feeling encouraged that God is with me and He cares (I know He cares, but it's so neat to see direct answers to prayer).
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Post by George on May 29, 2006 23:36:09 GMT -5
Praise God what a wonderful thing! It is a certainty that you and this other family have been brought together for a reason. Perhaps there are even more like-minded folks there on the base. I will be praying you all can get together and at least you and this other family can share fellowship in God.
In Christ, George
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Post by nightingale on May 30, 2006 0:50:39 GMT -5
Dear Sister JoAnne...My son Corey who is now 17 was born on Ft. Lewis...We were stationed there for 3 1/2 years...We lived on Sycamore Ln...3 br. duplex...Ft. Lewis brings alot of good memories, but unfortunately my husband and I are no longer married, our marriage seemed to fall apart when he got out of the service...I have a sister who lives in Tacoma, and my mom and brother and other sister lives in Seattle area...I would love to meet you...I live on the other side of the mountain, right on the Idaho border...I hope to get over to Seattle to visit my family this summer...It would be great if I could come and visit with you for an afternoon...Let me know if this would be an option...Have a wonderful day...Sis Debbie
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Post by prv31wife on May 30, 2006 11:44:49 GMT -5
Shoshana, How long ago did you have your honeymoon here? It's a very popular place to come for honeymoons,vacations etc but its so expensive to live here
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Post by shoshana on May 30, 2006 13:44:12 GMT -5
Shoshana, How long ago did you have your honeymoon here? March 1985. I remember how high things were there. My parents sold their home in Orange in 1986 and it was unbeliveable what the same money could buy in Arkansas where they moved to. We have kept up with friends who have sold 50 year old 900 square foot homes for fortunes!
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