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Post by nightingale on Jun 2, 2006 13:03:54 GMT -5
I thought I would share some of the Diet Ticklers in my new book, if anyone else has a cute funny relating to diets, please post...laughter makes ones soul happy ;D "I've been on a constant diet for the last two decades. I've lost a total of 789 pounds. By all accounts, I should be hanging from a charm bracelet." "The leading cause of death among fashion models is falling through street grates.""I'm in shape. Round is a shape, isn't it?" |
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Post by nightingale on Jun 7, 2006 12:03:47 GMT -5
"I have to exercise early in the morning before my brain figures out what I'm doing" ;D Anonymous
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Post by benshelpmeet on Jun 8, 2006 17:01:20 GMT -5
;D
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Post by prv31wife on Jun 8, 2006 22:36:15 GMT -5
I got this from a website and thought it was cute.
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Chocolate is a Vegetable
Other little known Chocolate facts:
Chocolate is derived from cacao beans. Bean = vegetable. Sugar is derived from either sugar CANE or sugar BEETS. Both are plants, which places them in the vegetable category. Thus, chocolate is a vegetable.
To go one step further, chocolate candy bars also contain milk, which is dairy product. So candy bars are a health food.
Chocolate-covered raisins, cherries, orange slices and strawberries all count as fruit; so eat as many as you want.
If you've got melted chocolate all over your hands, you're eating it too slowly.
Problem: How to get 2 pounds of chocolate home from the store in a hot car. The solution: Eat it in the parking lot.
Diet tip: Eat a chocolate bar before each meal. It'll take the edge off your appetite, and you'll eat less.
If calories are an issue, store your chocolate on top of the fridge. Calories are afraid of heights, and they will jump out of the chocolate to protect themselves. (We're testing this with other snack foods as well.)
If I eat equal amounts of dark chocolate and white chocolate, is that a balanced diet? Don't they actually counteract each other?
Chocolate has many preservatives. Preservatives make you look younger. Therefore, you need to eat more chocolate.
Put "eat chocolate" at the top of your list of things to do today. That way, at least you'll get one thing done.
A nice box of chocolates can provide your total daily intake of calories in one place. Now, isn't that handy?
If you can't eat all your chocolate, it will keep in the freezer. But if you can't eat all your chocolate, what's wrong with you?
If not for chocolate, there would be no need for control top pantyhose. An entire garment industry would be devastated. You can't let that happen, can you?
NEWS FLASH: "Stressed" spelled backward is "desserts." So, to reverse being "stressed" . . . CHOCOLATE!!!
[ Author Unknown -- from Thomas S. Ellsworth -- Ed:anon. ]
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Post by benshelpmeet on Jun 9, 2006 7:39:19 GMT -5
Hee Hee ;D ;D I Love Chocolate!  I hardly ever eat chocolate but their are times when I do crave a Almond Hershey's bar. I like a Hershey's bar because it is sectioned and I can break off a few sections and wrap it back up and eat a few sections later repeating the process until the whole bar is gone. It sometimes takes me a week to eat one bar.  I love Symphony bars too! I think Hershey chocolate is the best I do not like Nestles chocolate...it taste different to me.A few of my favorites.... Chocolate is derived from cacao beans. Bean = vegetable. Sugar is derived from either sugar CANE or sugar BEETS. Both are plants, which places them in the vegetable category. Thus, chocolate is a vegetable.
To go one step further, chocolate candy bars also contain milk, which is dairy product. So candy bars are a health food.
Diet tip: Eat a chocolate bar before each meal. It'll take the edge off your appetite, and you'll eat less.
If calories are an issue, store your chocolate on top of the fridge. Calories are afraid of heights, and they will jump out of the chocolate to protect themselves.
If you can't eat all your chocolate, it will keep in the freezer. But if you can't eat all your chocolate, what's wrong with you? I wonder about that myself??? ;D I just have a weird appitite.  Dear Regina, Thank you for the Ticklers! Thats great! If you find more please post them. 
I love you, ~ sister Darlene ~
Have a great day sister!  P.S. I sure did enjoy the pictures of you and your sweet family! |
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Post by nightingale on Jun 9, 2006 13:03:58 GMT -5
;D Very Funny ;D Thank you Regina...I love to laugh...those are good, I love the one that says Chocolate is a vegetable!! ;D ;D Thanks again...Love Sis Debbie
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Post by Andrea on Jun 10, 2006 23:02:32 GMT -5
I think Hershey chocolate is the best I do not like Nestles chocolate...it taste different to me.
I feel the same way about Nestles... it really does taste different :Pand I don't like it. |
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Post by benshelpmeet on Jun 16, 2006 15:23:03 GMT -5
Fat people do not wrinkle... ;D
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Post by nightingale on Jun 16, 2006 15:33:00 GMT -5
;D ;D ;D you mean I can be wrinkle free if I stay fat? ummm, the choices one has to make ;D |
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Post by benshelpmeet on Jun 16, 2006 15:35:42 GMT -5
Chubby people give better hugs too!
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Post by prv31wife on Jun 16, 2006 16:55:52 GMT -5
Hey! I like that last one! ;D
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Post by benshelpmeet on Jun 17, 2006 11:44:57 GMT -5
The cardiologist's diet: If it taste good, spit it out! ;D
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I hardly ever eat chocolate but their are times when I do crave a Almond Hershey's bar. I like a Hershey's bar because it is sectioned and I can break off a few sections and wrap it back up and eat a few sections later repeating the process until the whole bar is gone. It sometimes takes me a week to eat one bar. 
I love Symphony bars too! 
P.S. I sure did enjoy the pictures of you and your sweet family! 